Ekuzingelini

I have this injury in my tailbone and it's hurting me like mad but I am so so terrified to tell anyone because I am scared to be pulled out of any item. Pls pls let the wound heal fast and turn scabby soon 

In other news , my phone seems to be going places 

Assurance

I need someone to tell me that all this will be worth it in the end. 

It's tough to be fighting a war alone and it's just you , your body , and your self discipline. 

Others can only stand at the side and observe and give encouragement  at best. It's like peering though a glass box and all you see , is me in it , fighting for something that doesn't seem to be happening , not even close. 

But I've come so far , approximately one month or so , so what can I do except for bring my teeth and just pressing on ? But I'm really fearful for when the day comes and all people see is not results. 

That's the thing isn't it ? No matter how people try to deny it , it is always the final outcome that people judge against , (of course , unless it's their own life story) 

But it's fine , "achievement does not determine your worth" and so should it be the case for me. 

Kinda like a self-therapy session for me hahahah but yeah. 

Time-check : 1:20am 

I'm beginning to miss some people in my life. 

If I were to have a list of the things JC has robbed me of , people I miss would be high on the list with the likes of sleep and free-time. (And in AC , the courage to be at ease at any location I would like to be) 

I get it that everyone is really busy and all , but I really hope there may come a time where I can really put down everything related to school work (without feeling guilty of course) , and just spend the entire day reconnecting and doing stuff that we used to do. 

Pretty sure many of us out there can't afford to do that can we ? 

Yanking

Really really long since I've been posting but to my defense I've really been busy. 

Ever got that feeling that you just wanna give up so badly and how easy it is to just land on your knees and concede but you JUST CAN'T , as you think about all your other friends and people going through this with you ? 

Long question with terrible punctuation but it's been a question in my mind since season has started. As in , people might think that dance training is all that matters and people survive , but what they don't see , is the pressure and effort that one has to go through , of course , with many instances of self-sacrifice la in the mixture. 

Don't get me wrong , I'm not whining about it , ( just continued to type on some words to defend myself but deleted them all because I AM WHINING) 

But I know all this will not get to me and that I will work as hard as I can , be it during dance training , or schoolwork , and that ill have the discipline to pull through my self-imposed food ban and 3.4km runs and gym sessions because I know that all this will be worth it , and all I need to do is to suck it up. 

Oh yeah , speaking of which , I'm gonna age pretty soon. All of my secondary school life I've been wanting to the day to come but now that it actually has , the feeling is basically much less poignant. Just praying that this year no _________ will fall and that ill be wiser and more mature in my THinking. 

That's all 

Day 0

Day 0

Time : 1346 

Location : Airplane while it's landing. 

First post gonna be on the airplane en-route over to Thailand. Had quite a good morning even though I had to travel solo to changi airport taking buses and the MRT with my 9.8kg backpack 

But still , an adventure it was. 

It has been quite an eventful morning , meeting up with Tsaqif and all and club 166 was reunited before our flight :) gonna miss tsa so much , I just knew it. 

Tagged our bags and we proceeded to check-in and the wait was quite little I guess. My experience with Thai Airways had been pleasant so far. HAD . 

Well we had some free time before we had to board so some of us went to get some bucks while the others we to get subway ! Toffee nut latte as usual and found out more about my trip mates ! 

Went to lepak outside the boarding gate because we were early 

*plane landing so I'm feeling giddy* 

Played a fun game called jungle speed hahahah it was so hilarious because we kept grabbing the stick at the wrong time *

*sinking feeling when we land* 

*landing* 

*immense shaking*

*end of twerkbulance* 

Okay I guess ill continue on my bus ride then ! 

*okay I'm back , in the bus now * 

Then we boarded the plane , Thai airways by the way HAAHAHHA so it's not budget , just middle standard I suppose !! 

Sigh SD4/5 people sat in seats that were separated from the rest of the group.  Luckily I had my bitch with me so all is well HAHAHAHAH 

Took such a long time before we could even fly , I swear it was around 30 - 45 minutes of plain waiting sigh. And the liftoff took so long until Candice and I were suffering because we had full bladders. 

Of course , ran immediately to the toilet to be it's

Honorary First User 

Becuz the first user gets the cleanest toilet WOOHOOO. 

Did my stuff and I was once again enchanted by the sounds of the toilet flush. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

Passengers received out boarding passes and when I was sitting down , this auntie a few rows in front called for me. 

Turns out that they didn't know how to fill out their forms , helped them fill out their forms yeah , I am THAT nice, maybe I should just go and abnegation 

But there were So many blanks there and so I just stood there filling out their forms for them . 6 in total . NO FREAKING JOKE MAN. 

But it's okay , they really had no choice anyway :) 

Moving on , I was rather annoyed by the attitude of some of the flight staff. I could seriously do much better than that. Their attitude when serving people was rather cold and it seemed as if they were irritated. 

1. While I was filling out forms for the elderly , Staff A just used her hand to move me away and just spurted out that she knows I'm writing for them but I need to go back. 

Annoyed   Level : 5/10 

2. When Candice wanted to get her passport and her hand-held luggage door got jammed she asked staff B passing by how to pull it down and she just stared at her and told her : just pull down . Three times 

Annoyed level : 4/10 

3. When the uncle beside me saw that his lunch had a hole In the aluminum and requested to change it , the staff was really bad in his attitude. Ugh. 

Annoyed level : 7/10 

Ok these may sound rather juvenile To you guys but I guess you would have to experience it first hand before you would know I guess ..... 

So now I'm on the mini can with some girls and my two men 

(Gideon was buying water for us ) 

Gonna have dinner after an hour's drive because the teachers are so afraid that we will all die hahahah 

Didn't get to buy our 4G wifi cards though so I'm just typing my blog post on notes. Had to leave the airport because of the apparent scheduled demonstration that appeared on the news today and leaving the airport ASAP was the most logical thing to do. 

*gonna listen to music to let time 

pass before we go for dinner * 

*my gosh the speed limit here is 120km/hr good grief 

Anyway the sky here looks terribly good I can't stand it hahahah Cheryl if you could  see this you might go crazy 

Told ya this is what 120km/Hr does to you 

Made a rest stop on the way 

Time : 1645 

Place : en route to Khon khaen 

Fuck I dropped my camera I hope I can save it. 

It can take photos but yeah , it's kinda hard to press it damn ..... Oh well. 

Agony

Sometimes it's really tough in life for me. 

Many a times I choose to forgo my own aspirations to achieve the hopes for others and their expectations. 

And I know that it should be the right thing to do. 

But still , something inside will constantly yank at my own conscience , demanding for me to be self-centered just this once , to think only about my own interests that's all. 

In any case , this voice gradually loses the fight , leaving the only victim to be myself 

A conflicted soul. 

Anyway, despite all these thoughts , I know that giving in will always be right , it has been , and It will always be. Because that's really basically what I am and how I can relate to about myself. 

I am Abnegation. 

Single.

To those whom may know, just to let you know , it's back to being single again. 

I saw it coming long ago but I just didn't wanna find out more. At least it was a clean break , at least for me. Not all guys at are jerks when they break up alright ......

Anyway this week has been rather crazy. The lack of sleep is slowly driving all of us into a form of hysteria because of the WR submission and earning us admission into the Panda Association. FML. 

Fortunately for my group , we cleared the WR on Wednesday before time practice on Thursday so all was well. Felt quite bad for the other teams who have worked hard but couldn't submit it on time .... 

Really loving the class spirit recently. On anyone day if someone needs help , help is readily extended , even it it were to come at the cost of delaying homework. Felt so happy doing my part in the history google docs. 

In other news , found this photo of my brother and I and this basically illustrates our relationship. Really thankful for all the support he has given me. 

(=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)

That's all folks. 

N