Crushed.

Finally had some time to blog about my life. Apparently I've been getting a lot of notions recently that all of us are merely living until we die. Perhaps it due to the tremendous amount of work I have everyday. I never seem to be able to like , yknow , "be on top of my homework" like I always have been back in secondary school.

WORK WILL NEVER BE DONE IN A DAY.

But I guess that's fine because fortunately for me , I actually of have classmates that are very supportive. We may not be the most bonded, but I certainly am glad that everyone there is just so inert.

Then there is dance.
I seem to have a weird relationship with dancers. It's as if on days I can be very friendly and mingle well with dancers , and on others , the entire "awks" situation comes into play. And what stifles me is that I have no confidante within dance that may truly understand me. I know A and Y will listen to me when I pour out my grouses , but I guess I'm just not trusty enough.

And there are the actual lessons.
Do you ever get the feeling as a performer , that no matter how much and how HARD you try , you can't seem to be able to master a dance step or be able to execute it well ?and the more anxious you are to be able to master that steps , the more you fumble and lose your ground?

I reckon it as the performing artist frustration.
Lets face it , I'm the worst dancer of the lot and no matter how hard I try , I will never be able to dance as well as everyone. But I am willing to try. It may seem as if my hard work isn't paying off in initial stages , but I'm sure someone up there can see my , determination to dance. I chose this road. I chose dance , and dance to the best of my ability , I will. So no matter how frustrated I am , I will still persist.

But right now its all just frustration and anxiety.

AND PARANOIA.

I guess it's a good time to end now .....

Xoxo


....... Sometimes I really wonder if I were really cut out for love. Sigh ... I really should have known right from the start that nothing. Good would come out from us. So why was I expecting anything? Sigh I feel like a freaking fool now.