Day 0

Day 0

Time : 1346 

Location : Airplane while it's landing. 

First post gonna be on the airplane en-route over to Thailand. Had quite a good morning even though I had to travel solo to changi airport taking buses and the MRT with my 9.8kg backpack 

But still , an adventure it was. 

It has been quite an eventful morning , meeting up with Tsaqif and all and club 166 was reunited before our flight :) gonna miss tsa so much , I just knew it. 

Tagged our bags and we proceeded to check-in and the wait was quite little I guess. My experience with Thai Airways had been pleasant so far. HAD . 

Well we had some free time before we had to board so some of us went to get some bucks while the others we to get subway ! Toffee nut latte as usual and found out more about my trip mates ! 

Went to lepak outside the boarding gate because we were early 

*plane landing so I'm feeling giddy* 

Played a fun game called jungle speed hahahah it was so hilarious because we kept grabbing the stick at the wrong time *

*sinking feeling when we land* 

*landing* 

*immense shaking*

*end of twerkbulance* 

Okay I guess ill continue on my bus ride then ! 

*okay I'm back , in the bus now * 

Then we boarded the plane , Thai airways by the way HAAHAHHA so it's not budget , just middle standard I suppose !! 

Sigh SD4/5 people sat in seats that were separated from the rest of the group.  Luckily I had my bitch with me so all is well HAHAHAHAH 

Took such a long time before we could even fly , I swear it was around 30 - 45 minutes of plain waiting sigh. And the liftoff took so long until Candice and I were suffering because we had full bladders. 

Of course , ran immediately to the toilet to be it's

Honorary First User 

Becuz the first user gets the cleanest toilet WOOHOOO. 

Did my stuff and I was once again enchanted by the sounds of the toilet flush. 

. 

. 

. 

. 

Passengers received out boarding passes and when I was sitting down , this auntie a few rows in front called for me. 

Turns out that they didn't know how to fill out their forms , helped them fill out their forms yeah , I am THAT nice, maybe I should just go and abnegation 

But there were So many blanks there and so I just stood there filling out their forms for them . 6 in total . NO FREAKING JOKE MAN. 

But it's okay , they really had no choice anyway :) 

Moving on , I was rather annoyed by the attitude of some of the flight staff. I could seriously do much better than that. Their attitude when serving people was rather cold and it seemed as if they were irritated. 

1. While I was filling out forms for the elderly , Staff A just used her hand to move me away and just spurted out that she knows I'm writing for them but I need to go back. 

Annoyed   Level : 5/10 

2. When Candice wanted to get her passport and her hand-held luggage door got jammed she asked staff B passing by how to pull it down and she just stared at her and told her : just pull down . Three times 

Annoyed level : 4/10 

3. When the uncle beside me saw that his lunch had a hole In the aluminum and requested to change it , the staff was really bad in his attitude. Ugh. 

Annoyed level : 7/10 

Ok these may sound rather juvenile To you guys but I guess you would have to experience it first hand before you would know I guess ..... 

So now I'm on the mini can with some girls and my two men 

(Gideon was buying water for us ) 

Gonna have dinner after an hour's drive because the teachers are so afraid that we will all die hahahah 

Didn't get to buy our 4G wifi cards though so I'm just typing my blog post on notes. Had to leave the airport because of the apparent scheduled demonstration that appeared on the news today and leaving the airport ASAP was the most logical thing to do. 

*gonna listen to music to let time 

pass before we go for dinner * 

*my gosh the speed limit here is 120km/hr good grief 

Anyway the sky here looks terribly good I can't stand it hahahah Cheryl if you could  see this you might go crazy 

Told ya this is what 120km/Hr does to you 

Made a rest stop on the way 

Time : 1645 

Place : en route to Khon khaen 

Fuck I dropped my camera I hope I can save it. 

It can take photos but yeah , it's kinda hard to press it damn ..... Oh well. 

Agony

Sometimes it's really tough in life for me. 

Many a times I choose to forgo my own aspirations to achieve the hopes for others and their expectations. 

And I know that it should be the right thing to do. 

But still , something inside will constantly yank at my own conscience , demanding for me to be self-centered just this once , to think only about my own interests that's all. 

In any case , this voice gradually loses the fight , leaving the only victim to be myself 

A conflicted soul. 

Anyway, despite all these thoughts , I know that giving in will always be right , it has been , and It will always be. Because that's really basically what I am and how I can relate to about myself. 

I am Abnegation. 

Single.

To those whom may know, just to let you know , it's back to being single again. 

I saw it coming long ago but I just didn't wanna find out more. At least it was a clean break , at least for me. Not all guys at are jerks when they break up alright ......

Anyway this week has been rather crazy. The lack of sleep is slowly driving all of us into a form of hysteria because of the WR submission and earning us admission into the Panda Association. FML. 

Fortunately for my group , we cleared the WR on Wednesday before time practice on Thursday so all was well. Felt quite bad for the other teams who have worked hard but couldn't submit it on time .... 

Really loving the class spirit recently. On anyone day if someone needs help , help is readily extended , even it it were to come at the cost of delaying homework. Felt so happy doing my part in the history google docs. 

In other news , found this photo of my brother and I and this basically illustrates our relationship. Really thankful for all the support he has given me. 

(=´∀｀)人(´∀｀=)

That's all folks. 

N

Meltdown

Really bushed out for the past few days but I know all this effort will ultimately do good for me. 

'Fight the good fight' as they say

If only I could just push the negative thoughts in my head away whenever I study though. Not gonna explain further because it's really rather childish that I blame myself constantly for being so weak?! 

Stayed back till late with Ellie to do my work and had a heart to heart talk with her which I really enjoyed. Went on mini adventures with her to Dover heights to explore new places weeeew we be elman exploras yarz.....?!!? 

Shared dinner with her over a huge TUB of fried rice and 5 bottles of yakult which we bought on impulse.......

Anyway ,just wanna say how I find Ellie being such an inspiration to me and that I have so much to learn from her. Her mental strength and willpower is something which I can only wish for. In face of all these challenges and adversities , she still manages to pull through and maintain her front and be strong enough to push her friends along. 

Well that was  basically an entire paragraph of what I feel about my friend .

Lulcatzxc it's time to study for history

 

Faith

Faith can do great things. 

Have some. 

Really happy because at around 1am , I attempted to split on my bed , and I went into a full-split. You have no idea how happy that makes me 

Brave

It's a wonder how I can see someone I've grown up with change a deviate so much. 

Not that I hadn't seen it coming , I knew it , I knew it all along but the thought of it always seems to be able to be forgotten soon enough. 

Not until today. 

When I heard the name , I was quite surprised and shocked and taken aback. My god I could literally feel my heart palpitating a bit faster. 

The stuff mentioned....... 

Anyway I am fine with it. Just needed to air my thoughts because there aren't many people around that I can share them with. This space will suffice. 

But I pray for your safety and well-being.

I really do. 

Sigh. 

Xx

       Bailamos 2013 ft. Jake in tears

...

Life is tough but I heard from some place that God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers. 

So even when I'm having thought patches , I know that , that too , shall pass and that all shall be fine. 

Sigh feeling really guilty and terrible 

Xoxo

Feels

If emotions could be suppressed , how timid would that make people ?

If feelings could be controlled , how cowardly can people get ?

If love could be withdrawn , what makes us human ?

Xx

Fall

Fall harder in life and you'll find the circumstances easier. Not by chance , but by your own strength

Reaction

'Those who matter , don't mind , those who mind , don't matter'

A clear conscience holds through in all circumstances , but what if the conscience isn't true ? What if there wouldn't be anyone left with a clear conscience ? You know it. Think about it

Xoxo ;)

Terms

Yeah I guess I'm finally feeling nervous and unprepared for it. First paper of term three here I come. I seem to think that after the paper my holidays begin again. Which is NOT the case. Oh well.

I just hope that you'll be worth the wait.i know how selfish I may sound coming from me but I ain't a patient person if you haven't realised. Guess ill just wait and see what happens.

Goodbye annoying kids

Fear

Ever felt worried that you aren't worried enough for your exams but you have absolutely no motivation to study for it ? That makes two of us

Mears

Now I know how others feel.
Literally, 对着天空不敢让泪滑落
High time for me to grow up and actually ACT 17 now. Maturity really demands a lot from you.
Xo
A boy In a fat shell

Crushed.

Finally had some time to blog about my life. Apparently I've been getting a lot of notions recently that all of us are merely living until we die. Perhaps it due to the tremendous amount of work I have everyday. I never seem to be able to like , yknow , "be on top of my homework" like I always have been back in secondary school.

WORK WILL NEVER BE DONE IN A DAY.

But I guess that's fine because fortunately for me , I actually of have classmates that are very supportive. We may not be the most bonded, but I certainly am glad that everyone there is just so inert.

Then there is dance.
I seem to have a weird relationship with dancers. It's as if on days I can be very friendly and mingle well with dancers , and on others , the entire "awks" situation comes into play. And what stifles me is that I have no confidante within dance that may truly understand me. I know A and Y will listen to me when I pour out my grouses , but I guess I'm just not trusty enough.

And there are the actual lessons.
Do you ever get the feeling as a performer , that no matter how much and how HARD you try , you can't seem to be able to master a dance step or be able to execute it well ?and the more anxious you are to be able to master that steps , the more you fumble and lose your ground?

I reckon it as the performing artist frustration.
Lets face it , I'm the worst dancer of the lot and no matter how hard I try , I will never be able to dance as well as everyone. But I am willing to try. It may seem as if my hard work isn't paying off in initial stages , but I'm sure someone up there can see my , determination to dance. I chose this road. I chose dance , and dance to the best of my ability , I will. So no matter how frustrated I am , I will still persist.

But right now its all just frustration and anxiety.

AND PARANOIA.

I guess it's a good time to end now .....

Xoxo


....... Sometimes I really wonder if I were really cut out for love. Sigh ... I really should have known right from the start that nothing. Good would come out from us. So why was I expecting anything? Sigh I feel like a freaking fool now.

Bailamos

Like they always say , things don't come to you in this cruel world
You fight for it
But is it worth fighting for ?

Should I ? Or should I not ?

Bailamos 2013

Xoxo

123456789.

The difference between you and me is getting so far, I am running out of energy to patch it back.

I wonder if you feel that way too.

It's alright. I can deal with it. It's just two years anyway.


"Don't force yourself into a new life just because you are scared to face the old one"
-SvW

Xoxo

P.s it's great to be blogging anonymously again.
You don't even know me

Bubble.

Hello my fellow non-existent readers , this is me , blogging again .

Hah. What a joke when I promised myself that I would blog often.

Promises WERE meant to be broken. I just didn't do the pinky promise

Recently I've been given this thought , a lot of thought. Not sure if you would be able to comprehend. I keep feeling like what Dan Humphrey feels , to be a outsider and to be able to be included into the circle is near to impossible. It is like a birthright , a birthright that I didn't have and the more I try to get in touch with this circle , the harder I stumble.

The bubbles in my life are immense , bubbles that only let you in when your presence is needed , bubbles that will readily want you when you approach them. However , it is such bubbles that leave me the saddest and most dejected.


The difference is there , when the bubble is formed , no matter how much "on-the-surface" effort is made , YOU'LL NEVER BE INCLUDED IN THE BUBBLE. The energy is so warm and yet repelling , like poison ivy.

It's looks pretty but no one dares to touch it because we've all learnt,
NEVER TO GO TOO CLOSE

No matter how much you want in , a bubble is a bubble.
PERIOD.


So now you see why I'm tired of it ? I really HAD wanted to leave my bubbles behind and embraced life again .

The irony of circumstances.

I had a choice.
But it's fine I guess.

Or not.

Maybe I'll be in my own bubble, so no one can come in.


Tired and confused ,
And never good enough
Xoxo

Nepal awaits.