Ekuzingelini

I have this injury in my tailbone and it's hurting me like mad but I am so so terrified to tell anyone because I am scared to be pulled out of any item. Pls pls let the wound heal fast and turn scabby soon 

In other news , my phone seems to be going places 

Assurance

I need someone to tell me that all this will be worth it in the end. 

It's tough to be fighting a war alone and it's just you , your body , and your self discipline. 

Others can only stand at the side and observe and give encouragement  at best. It's like peering though a glass box and all you see , is me in it , fighting for something that doesn't seem to be happening , not even close. 

But I've come so far , approximately one month or so , so what can I do except for bring my teeth and just pressing on ? But I'm really fearful for when the day comes and all people see is not results. 

That's the thing isn't it ? No matter how people try to deny it , it is always the final outcome that people judge against , (of course , unless it's their own life story) 

But it's fine , "achievement does not determine your worth" and so should it be the case for me. 

Kinda like a self-therapy session for me hahahah but yeah. 

Time-check : 1:20am 

I'm beginning to miss some people in my life. 

If I were to have a list of the things JC has robbed me of , people I miss would be high on the list with the likes of sleep and free-time. (And in AC , the courage to be at ease at any location I would like to be) 

I get it that everyone is really busy and all , but I really hope there may come a time where I can really put down everything related to school work (without feeling guilty of course) , and just spend the entire day reconnecting and doing stuff that we used to do. 

Pretty sure many of us out there can't afford to do that can we ? 

Yanking

Really really long since I've been posting but to my defense I've really been busy. 

Ever got that feeling that you just wanna give up so badly and how easy it is to just land on your knees and concede but you JUST CAN'T , as you think about all your other friends and people going through this with you ? 

Long question with terrible punctuation but it's been a question in my mind since season has started. As in , people might think that dance training is all that matters and people survive , but what they don't see , is the pressure and effort that one has to go through , of course , with many instances of self-sacrifice la in the mixture. 

Don't get me wrong , I'm not whining about it , ( just continued to type on some words to defend myself but deleted them all because I AM WHINING) 

But I know all this will not get to me and that I will work as hard as I can , be it during dance training , or schoolwork , and that ill have the discipline to pull through my self-imposed food ban and 3.4km runs and gym sessions because I know that all this will be worth it , and all I need to do is to suck it up. 

Oh yeah , speaking of which , I'm gonna age pretty soon. All of my secondary school life I've been wanting to the day to come but now that it actually has , the feeling is basically much less poignant. Just praying that this year no _________ will fall and that ill be wiser and more mature in my THinking. 

That's all